The problem is I need to do this at scale, quickly, in a whitehat way. I thought about pinging, hiring guys on Fiverr to submit to social networks or using Scrapebox's rapid indexer add-on - but I think that all of these solutions are going to look mighty suspicious to Google and result in penalties.
You can sign into your Google admin console and ask Google to index your site and all sub-pages with 1-click. Usually takes a few minutes is all.
Indexing through a 3rd party should by penalize you as far as Google is concerned. Google is very clear about what they want for good SEO. It's all explained here: http://www.google.com/webmasters/docs/search-engine-optimization-starter-guide.pdf