I've known the power of mentorship for years but have been unable to find a true mentor. I have a bunch of virtual mentors but haven't been able to find mentors who I can have a personal relationship with.

Anybody who was ever a child (which is everyone, obviously) or read a book (which isn't everyone, unfortunately) has benefitted from others' knowledge and connections.

Most of us human beings mentor others off and on in various capacities. But it's pretty rare (outside of parenthood) to find a long-term, personal relationship with a mentor.

I'd recommend not seeking one. Why? Because I don't think you can find one by asking around. And if you put your energy into or base your plans on finding a mentor, then you won't develop the skills of self-sufficiency, resourcefulness, and cooperation that ultimately determine success.

Think about it. Any mentor relationship is (by definition) not a balance of give and take. Many people have the experience and even the leisure time to act as mentors; but unless they're personally interested in mentoring someone, they will regard overtures for advice in a business-like consulting sense or else (much worse) as impositions on their time.

Assuming someone has climbed the peaks and is now looking back to see whom he can help climb up after, then that person has no shortage of less experienced individuals to mentor. Whether he will pick you is mostly a question of chance. But it also depends on what you've accomplished on your own.

It's mostly out of your control. So I'd recommend concentrating on what you can do independently and on the usual give-and-take relationships that exist among peers. If a mentor relationship evolves, great! But that's out of your hands, I'd say.

Answered 6 years ago

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