You're definitely not alone with this feeling and it's very common amoung millennials because we were taught to figure everything out ourselves with the Internet- what we didn't know we were expected to look up. Admitting we truly didn't have the skill associated with the job would conjure up feelings of humiliation which would lead to the compulsive behavior to then just say-- yeah I can do that. It's my opinion that you're not trying to impress initially as so much as you're trying to not be caught in a vulnerable situation. I would recommend writing down all of your skills separate from your traits-- traits are the characteristics of yourself such as dependable, honest, persistent, loyal-- skills are how you can help them accomplish their goals - transferable skills are those you have accumulated throughout your career. - when someone asks you a skills based question like -- describe your normal methods of assigning work to your subordinates and you answer with "well I'm a very fair person and I wouldn't want their to animosity between the employees so I would make sure it's spread equally" - it's a honest answer but it's a skill question answered by subjective traits. - does that make sense? I think understanding skills/traits will calm your anxiety down and get you pumped for your next interview! :)

As a recovering people-pleaser I can understand to an extent where you are coming from. The fact is, no matter how skilled/talented you are, you will not please all the people all of the time.

First, review your job description and match it against your skills/experience. If they match really closely or exactly, then you should feel confident that you have the capability, no problem. What seem to be happening is you doubt yourself and the anxiety field you create around you probably makes coworkers uncomfortable. If you can do the job, you can do the job, you don't have to prove anything.

I have several suggestions to help you. First, continue to use positive self talk and reassure yourself as often as possible that you are good, worthy, skilled and competent. Do this especially during times of stress/anxiety.

Also, Jack Canfield has a great audio program on this. (
How to Build High Self-Esteem: A Practical Process for Your Personal Growth Audio, Cassette – Audiobook, Unabridged) He is an expert in self-esteem improvement and the tapes are very inexpensive online (~$4) or free at your local library.

Finally, I recommend a spiritual practice to help you. I'm not trying to preach at all, but my personal testimony is that God has graced me with a lot of help to overcome my personal and personality problems that have caused me much difficulty. I've had a lot of help from spiritual mentors to keep me on the path and accountable.

If you want to know more or if there is anything I can do, please let me know.

Greg Austin
https://www.linkedin.com/in/gregaustin1

Do you do much writing? I think it would be interesting for you to understand this anxiety. Writing can be a good outlet for self discovery.

Maybe you could shift your focus toward another career path. It's really hard to say without more information. Feel free to reach out if you'd like to go into this in depth.

Hello!

Thank you for your question.

In simple terms: Your unconscious expectations, your self-set boundaries and your self image cause the result to stay the same in different jobs / circumstances.

You have been given some book recommendations prior to my answer. However: What should really brake the ice and give you a practical approach with true results is "psycho-cybernetics"

I hope for you to find your path! If you ever want to express your experiences and challenges in detail - I will gladly listen and we will find a solution together.

Yours,
Max

I love the old Cherokee legend known as the ‘Tale of the Two Wolves’. A grandfather explains to his warrior grandson that there are two wolves within each of us: the good wolf is positive and beneficial – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith, while the bad wolf is negative and destructive – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego. These two wolves fight for control over us. The grandson is curious and asks, “Which wolf will win?” The grandfather replies, “The one you feed.” Start by trying to become aware of all the negative ‘instructions’ you’re giving to your subconscious. What are your most regularly played negative thoughts? In other words, what are you feeding the bad wolf? When you feel anxious, try to become aware of your negative thoughts and then challenge them. Writing them down is a good first step to taking an objective look at them. Are they true, logical, helpful? If not, what would be a more realistic, helpful thought? This will help to dissipate those unhelpful irrational beliefs rather than reinforcing them. Ask yourself ‘How is this thinking helping me?’
Besides if you do have any questions give me a call: https://clarity.fm/joy-brotonath

Anxiety is costing you the job, not your hustle

I hear you — you have the drive, but anxiety keeps pulling the rug. That’s not a “you” problem, it’s a nervous system problem.

*3 shifts to try:*

1. *Name it early*: On day 1, tell yourself “My brain will scan for threats here.” Anxiety feels less powerful when it’s labeled, not hidden.
2. *90-second reset*: When panic spikes, use physiology over pep talks. Cold water on wrists, 4-7-8 breathing, or 10 squats. It drops cortisol faster than “calm down.”
3. *One job, one task*: Anxiety grows when you try to “be perfect at everything.” Each day, pick just 1 task to do well. Ask: “What’s the next smallest step?”

*Truth*: You don’t need zero anxiety to keep a job. You need 60-second tools to regulate it. Hustle got you hired. Regulation keeps you there.

If this cycle repeats, a therapist can help retrain the anxiety response. You’re not broken — your system just needs new reps.
Talk to Alice seyi

Hello. First of all, I want to acknowledge your incredible resilience. Having the "hustle and motivation" to keep looking for work despite facing severe anxiety takes immense strength. You are not lazy or incapable; you are simply dealing with a nervous system that is going into overdrive.
About My Experience:
As a coach specializing in career development and mindset, I frequently work with professionals who struggle with high anxiety, imposter syndrome, and the exhausting cycle of people-pleasing. We work together to bridge the gap between technical capability and emotional sustainability at work.
My Advice & Insights for You:
Shift from "Proving" to "Performing": When you start a job with the mindset that you must prove your worth every second, your brain treats work like a battleground. Remember: They already hired you. They already believe you can do the job. Your only task now is to learn their systems and perform your duties, not to earn your worth as a human being.
Deconstruct the People-Pleasing Trap: Trying to impress everyone creates an unsustainable amount of pressure. It leads to burnout and micro-panics over minor mistakes. Practice setting small boundaries early on and accept that you are there to be a reliable colleague, not a perfect one.
Address the Environment (Remote vs. On-site): Since being away from your comfort zone triggers your anxiety, it might be worth explicitly targeting fully remote or hybrid roles for your next move. Managing your environment can significantly lower your baseline anxiety while you build your workplace confidence.
Create a "Soft Landing" Plan: For your next job, don't wait for the anxiety to build up. Have a plan for day one—whether that involves grounding exercises during breaks, open communication with HR about accommodation, or working with a therapist/coach parallelly to untangle the panic triggers.