What about it isn't working right now? Are you getting a substantially bad response?
Practice. Practice. Practice. You will improve. Do you have people to practice with who can give you feedback?
YOU ARE ASKING THE WRONG DAMN QUESTION.... Who cares if anyone here thinks you can make it. Do you think you can make it? More importantly -- do you have the guts to create something that is memorable in a space that has seen enough start-ups angling for consumer attention. Fair enough?